the 2 words

Hah. okie. kinda chill after a nite of drinking v^-^v

...went to have ''dinner'' at cantoment ard 11pm + wif hui2, lips,cass, nick, and GT. Fried rice evaluation: 1st and last tyme eating it ~_~.

...aft tat had a debate over whether to go PLAY or St. James. TSK. went PLAY in the end. CHAO GAYS.

...ordered 2 jugs of vodka lime...danced...sweat..smoke...blah blah blah~

left dere at 3am. called XF. HAH. Count myself lucky cuz he still drinking and awake at i-donno-what-underground-club-cum-pub ting at CK Tangs.

...cab dere and reached ard 4am...LOL. wif his help, i became an 21-year-old and was allowed admission v^-^v. THANKS XF~~~~

...drank a lil nit of some..example chivas, vodka...and i-donno-what la. -.- .....Danced til 6am...took a bus to XF hse to slp.. both KO on the bus...

....rested and ate *XF's dad helped us tabao* :] .....reached hm ard 5pmplus...bathed...waited for people to arrive and eat reunion dinner...and tang-yuans...blah...blah....

..and here i am, a retard blogging away. hahaha. FYI, im lyke suka suka den update ma blog. SO, *advertisement line came along* LOOK OUT FOR MA UPDATES YA...!

OKIE. ENOUGH SAID ABOUT YTD. *yawns*

REMINISCE ABOUT: still remembering otw to clarke quay on the bus, ZR said in the middle of our convo: '' i dont know how to love someone rite now''. Hahaha. Tat sorta woke me up. Can almost hear a little voice at the back of ma brain mocking at me. ''well you forgot how to love a person''. Haha. true enuf. i don deny that at all. Somewher somehow, you will just eventually FORGET how to love someone. Btw if ur wondering, im not talking about how you should behave in regards to ur other one. Its how you should feel about him. hahaha guess most of you most probably stop reading by the 2nd or 3rd sentence of tis paragraph. But still, im gonna crap on. LOL. its, aiya, sorta amazing how i came to here. Realli. Its alot more complex. ARGH. k. don wanna talk abt it anymore. Don wanna tink abt him. OSHIT. k fine. im lyke counting down to his ''departure''.


CHAO PPL. nites

shh...b quiet u might piss somebody off, motherfucker

seriously. motherfucker. cn u just stop all the fucking shit? or are u waiting for me to raise my white flag? fuck off. please. fuck off out of ma life.

..eh?

LOL. damn joke sia.
..reading thru ma previous posts, onli den i realise how fucking vulgar i was. opps. lol.

O, btw, for those who tink that i'll change ma style of writing from now on, DREAM ON. lol. i will still be as wide in ma vocab as usual v^-^v.

okie, nth much to talk or say. NITES ppl.

*kinda lazy to brush teeth, but, BO BIAN.*

add-on: ~x'mas comin'... ding dong bell. he's leaving nxt yr. two words: F-U-C-K-I-N-G H-E-L-L. na bu puah cb. walaoeh. simi sai la. sibeh pu bor sia. ARGH. ok. gg brush teeth now. nites ppl~

oh ma lord

hi ppl.

dam shag nwadays...

wif ma dearest yiwen leaving, argh, it sucks lyke hell man.

donno wat to say, realli.

..am oready missin her rite nw. all her silly stuffs. hah.

OMFG. hw sia. sigh. guess i hav 2 learnn 2 b independent fr nw.

MIS YA YIWEN.


..its a MUST to keep in touch yea !

SCREAM.

sigh. k shall use short-cut way. kinda shag to talk so much.

..juz reached hm. went to drink n slack wif ma love ytd at clarke quay. approached by an ang moh. jio us go drink. kinda regretted the fact that we rejected him.

tsk. ma love asked me y was i so quiet. i've been wanting to shout out all the fucking shits that was bothering me. bt it all comes back to me: wats the fucking use? it wont change anythin.

if given a chance, i juz want to scream ma lungs out . HE IS NOT MINE ANYMORE. does anybody fucking know hw it feels lyke?


so damn sueh. otw 2 meet ZR at somerset, saw him when i crossed the road. wanted 2 pretend he's nt dere, bt he stopped me. asked me wher m i going, lied that im meetin ma new BF. hah. OMFG.

great. lets juz pray that what goes around, eventually comes around.

chao ppl.

bye.

MOTHER FUCKER. BIG FAT LIAR. you are the reason why im being fed on lies. CHEE BYE PU BOR KIA. all u ever know is making use of me. fine. since u wanna play? i shall play wif you. But do take note that, you are making me hating you more. so much more.

sometimes realli feel lyke screaming my head out. fuck it. no one knows whats going on. i cant tell anybody. all i could do is paste a fucking smile on ma face. hw i wish i could switch place wif anybody, juz for a fucking day. let dem hav a taste of wats its lyke to be me.

..love him. but, for fuck? treats me lyke a shit. am always telling ppl to kan kai, bt when it comes to me, haha. FUCKING HELL NO.

told me he got training tis evening. n when i asked, he went out wif frens. ask him to read his msn history, he said he deleted it. n its onli 10.23pm, yet he say he's gg to slp. fine. suit himself. didnt even say bye or watever fuck before gg offline. baby, juz wanna let u know, what goes around eventually comes around. hate to say tis, but u are the one hu forced me to.

Oya, n told me his HP line was cut-off. fine. den i decided to give it a ''test''. called it.
it got thru. fine. he told me, he cn onli recieve msg the other time. yet now, my call got thru. wow.

seriously honey, since u cn go & fuck other bitches, well, hah. hope you know me well enough to hav guessed what i'll do den. rmb, u landed urself into this shit.

bye, love.

..wel, at least i did loved you.

..alrite. one word. SHAG.

...one word: SHAG.

..well went drinking wif cass, lip, and hui2 at GLAMOUR *a pub in Tajong Pagar* ytd. Inside, ALL waitress are MIC. lol. u know. zhong guo nu hai. LOL. LMAO.

..den ordered a bucket, 6 bottles. i didnt even had a bottle, n WHY was i drunk? ans: cass's gd idea: her mango-flavoured VODKA.

...lol. played shots. Dey drink beer, while for me , mine is VODKA. lol.

didnt realise anything til the effects came. AWWWW man. lol. According to Cass, she literally dragged me outta the cab. wth MAN. slept at her place, ON THE FLOOR. lol. STILL SAY THAT I SNORED. VERI TIRED OK. -.-''''''''

went hm tis aftnoon, slack....bathed....and here i am, blogging away.

SIAN. Tmr 1st day of work liao. Admin and data entry stuffs, for NETS the company. WUHOO. kinda looking forward to it though. BUT, office hours, office dresscode,baby.

YAWNS.cant realli tink of anythin nw. OYA. juz painted ma nails. BLOOD RED. CHEERS ppl!

K, that shall be it den. wil update u all wif ma work lata. CHAO ppl. Take care & god bless. (n_n)

..and when my love for life is runnin' dry.

Hi dere ppl. Haven realli updated for quite a while ba.

hmmm. well. nth much going on. kinda ''bland'' for me, if u know what i mean.

...found ma love on 030908. lol. ironically, ma bd's on 090390. so, its kinda easy to rmb ^^.

..well. misses ZR so much. OMG. i wished she was here. To listen to me, cry wif me, and share her laughters wif me. Realli miss her so damn lots. Bt too bad her promos' around the corner, so cant ''ka-jiao'' her 4 the time being. LOL.

well.....lets see.

hmmm had been doing quite alot of reflections dese days, u know. My life....ambitions....stuffs lyke that. Hah. Realised how pathetic i was whenever i think of ma past. Well for those who knows it, you must bbe as amazed as me as to how i gotten past all those shits. Well, cant realli call dem shits as shits are total waste, whereas i learnt alot from dese pasts.

...its so hard to trust, i finally realise. very hard. becuz once u tink of the possible 'fall' that u might get from it, phew, it'll b too much to take. At least, for me.

Cant believe that i used to be so damn fucking naive. Everything seems so simple and nice; what a wonderful world it is, i used to thought. Well, fuck it people. The world is fucking unfair.

If dar is reading tis, i hope that what u said, k la, i don ask for much. i hope, AT LEAST 3/4 of it is real. ^-^ I cant take another fall, if u know wat i mean. SO pls, don let that happen.

k, shall end here. its 11.58pm and im hungry.WUOOO. gtg get food. Chao ppl. take care.

WAT THE *TOOT*

yo man.. here again... YAWNS. haven slept AT ALL.

Tonn-ed wif feroz and gang ytd night. YAWNS~

OK: shall summarize up our tired but kinda 'adventurous' night.

....went to Sahara at Clarke Quay at ard 10pm plus for seesha * grape flavour* as the Mini Pub we're suppose to go was not opened yet... OMFG. ITS COST 30 BUCKS EACH *JUST becuz of the GST* . WAT THE FUCK. DAMN2 EXPENSIVE SIAL~~~~ *as compared to those at Haji Lane*

...after that that CHAO-AH-BENG-look-alike, a.k.a Donovan, brought us to this THAI DISCO CUM PUB in chinatown, called CHERRY. *in which WE WALKED FROM CLARKE QUAY. _l_.*
.....WUHOOO.saw thai pole dancers dere... SO HOT MAN. LOL. Their figures are lyke PERFECT TEN LA. WALAOEHHHH. CCB. HMMMP.
Only ordered 2 jugs dere....YUCKS. CARLSBERG. EEEeeee. hate beer. XpPLUS, the THAI songs inside, almost send me to my makers sial.

...after we're done wif all the Beer-Drinking and Chio bus-seeing, it was ard 1am plus... i suggested going to PLAY, a club at Tanjong Pagar, where dere is a mixed-age party going on.

KNLBCCB. we WALK dere from chinatown. WTF. finally reached liao, DERE GOT FIGHT. donno between which gangs la. WALAOEHHHH. damn shag oready. We, lyke a bunch of idiots, sat outside, stonned and smoked -_-''''''''''''.

After which, Jason suggested tat since we have no where to go, why not go his house and slack....wif his MARTELL. YUM YUM. sounds great. BUT. ALOT OF KA ZHUA(s) OTW SIA. OMFG.

...BUT. we HAVE to walk again, from Tanjong Pagar to QUEENSTOWN. WTF MANNN.

...hmmm....walk~~~walk~~~walk....til we reached a flat at ard....3 plus i tink, and feroz, the ever SMART guy, wif his SWISS ARMY KNIFE, unlock one of those locked bikes under blocks and we GOT IT. LOL. LMAO man.

..but cb sial, in the end, Donovan ''destroyed'' it by letting it go wif the gravity when we reached a particular slope. WAT THE SHIT. SIAO.

...den keep walking......damn tired now........4 plus....we stopped by for a ''drink'' at a 7-11 near Bukit Merah. LOL. Jason tat bastard, took half a dozen of carlsberg * 6 cans* from the store, F.O.C. lol. den went to a nearby coffee shop to ''enjoy'' our free beers.

...FINALLY, we took a cab to Jason's condo and rested til morning dere. SIAL LA -.-

....AND THE STORY DOESNT END HERE.

~~went to met mum for breakfast at Bukit Merah *again, lol* ...went hm...slack....bathed...and here i am, blogging away.

OKAY, gonna stop here den. gg for dinner now. CHAO PPL. god bless.
(n_n)v

Specially dedicated to ZR ^-^

Yo ppl.... juz reached hm.. gg meet cass again lata....-.-

..kk, shall make full use of the tyme den.

...juz had a realli3, hmm, heart-to-heart talk wif ZR *aka my love* =)

being the onli person hu realli knows what the hell is going on in ma life, hence can relate to her realli well.

..she realli knows me well sial. LOL. talkin to her is juz lyke looking into the mirror. *it reflects who i am*

...told me something, which kinda stuck in ma head: everybody is lyke a book. Wat for the cover is nice, yet the content sucks lyke shit?

OMG. tat realli struck me. yeah. i mean, ok la, cover nice, see oready happy la, bt if the content sucks, WHO THE FUCK WOULD WAN TO CONTINUE HOLDING ON TO THE BOOK?

..i definitely wouldnt wan to be such a book. i wan people to read into me, to know more about me, before dey fucking judge me. Realli. trust me, U WILL BE IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE ^^

.. she oso asked, 'would you wan to be a rare gem, or those fake ones sold at pasar malam ?' A rare gem , wow, people treasure dem, putting dem at home, don even dare to take dem out, for the fear of losing dem. On the other hand , a fake one, hah, people wont even giv a shit if it's lost.

TAT realli gets to me.

Haha. we even look back to the days in secondary school. she said, i've changed.

Yeah. i dont deny that. i've no idea wat the fuck is wrong wif me, bt life juz seemed so dragged on.

She even cried while talkin to me, for fear that i might raise my white flag in this battle. That realli broke my heart. Seeing my best fren crying for me, hah, im sorry, but i cant be those cold-hearted bitches, who dont giv a damn.

if ur reading this, tis is to u *ZR*: I promise you, i'll nt give up. No matter what kinda shit that comes my way, i'll fight on. Thnks 4 everything that u've done for me, realli. Nothing can express how thankful I am, to hav found you. I love u, my bestfren. I'll do my best & carry on wif this fucked up battlefield *u know what i mean*. juz hope those fuckers out dere will at least read tis book, titled 'me', before making their fucking judgements.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, take care everyone. CHAO.

Just : Breath

YO ppl.....

L O L. Lyke wat i said in ma eariler posts, ppl usually blog after a day, but NOT me. lol. here i m, when a day has just began,blogging ma life away.

SIAN.

well, dey always say, ''i met the right person at the wrong tyme''.

WELL. For me, i've to say ''i met the wrong people at the right tyme''.

SO SO TRUE. fuck man. SUEH SIA.

Miss ma bestie so damn fucking lots sia.....wuhoo . so much things to tell her.....so much.

NVRMIND. WIL SEE HER NXT FRI ANYWAE ^-^v planning to go back queensway sec qif ma cliques *lol, dey suggest each buying a stalk of rose & giving it to Miss sim* . SO CUTE LOR.

aiya, nowadays realli nth to blog about seh.

hmm, k. imma invent smth called ''advance blogging''.

Tis is for busy/slacker *me*/lazy*me again* people to use. Cuz anywaes, thing i done every weekends are almost the same mah, hance just advance blog lor.

WEEKENDS: standard one ----> go seesha -.-''''

weekdays: Go slack/movie/sleep.

U might think tat tis a slack kinda life, BUT U R SO WRONG.

I GOT MA PROBLEMS TOO:

1. Sial la, wat to wear???
2. Shit, wher to go?
3. Aiyo, Hp no batt *lazy to charge*
4. Walan Eh, wat to eat todae?
5. walaoooo, no more hung ki liao _l_

U see, sooo much problems sia. SIAN.

Ok, shall continue when i feel lyke it (n_n)v

BYE FKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs.

left around?.....No. left behind

phew.

here i am again.

remembering the words: so many times i planned, to be much more then who i am.

ma bestie, hah, knew her reaction oready.

me: eh, i broke wif him liao leh
bestie: WAT?!!!! for fuck???????
me: lol....personality clash lor
bestie:aiya, u tis don wan, tat don wan, of cuz cant find the right one la
me: LOL...*drinking bubble tea & smoking*...*nearly chokin' on the pearls* don reaction SO big la....HAHAHAHA
bestie: aiyo...u must accept his faults mah....
me: i TRIED...aiya, donno hw to say oso lor...
bestie: *shakes head*
me: Smile (tat did nt came fr ma heart)

WELL...tat was part of the convesation i had wif my bestie. tat gal damn cute. Took a whole tube of TOLBERONE n eat -.-'''''

OYA, earlier, i met her at chinese garden. LOL...i arrived 1st n waited 4 awhile onli...den suddenly saw one gal RUNNING infront & PAST me. LOL. BESTIE.

she didnt even saw me...! den on tinking tat i waited for veri long, she RAN from the jamming studio to MRT station. SHE IS DAMN CUTE, trust me. LOL.

OK. hmmm. let me see.

....
....
...
**see nth**

Haha..don realli lyke to blog nowadays la. As in, nth is realli going on in my life.

..saw him & his GF ytd. OH FUCK. After two years. MAN.
..realli felt lyke ripping his fucking bitch's face off seh. FUCKING M.I.C.
OH FUCK IT LA. y cant just fucking face the facts? HE WIL NVR EVER BE URS, WEN. JUST, FUCK IT.

its funny, sometimes, how your motivation can become your item of affection, then your target for avoidence.

HAH. lyke wat i used to say/believe/still in mind: life's a joke.

if you are reading : giv a thought for this:

Have you ever notice, that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you, and yet, you can never have them.

O FUCK. ma fucking heart juz aches whenever i tot of it.

FUCK ALL PPL, CHAO. BAD NITE. *especially to TAT GF of his: FUCK U _l_*

..sorry.

im sorry.

dey are the ones who turned me into tis cold-blooded creature.

perhaps. i don even know who the fuck is tis.

..once again, im sorry.

seriously, just FUCK it.

HI baby.

...LOL. OK. i don feel lyke sayin anythin at all. or for tat case, type -.-'''.

ITS SO FUCK-UP rite now. OMFG.

wel guess wat he said was rite. y shud we fight to live, juz to die in the very fucking end?

makes no fucking sense to me either, to fight so hard 4 it, just to lose it together in the end.

ARGH. watever shit. u might not hav any fucking idea wat the fuck im talking abt, n tink tat im crazy or wat. I DONT GIVE A FUCK CARE, ok?

for those who understand me, let me tel ya tis: i cant hold on anymore. might as well fucking breakdown now. IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE TO ME.

..just wished tat i could turn back tyme. i wil nt b lyke tis, i guess.

Darkness is fading in on me, and darkness , is real.

..i let him go, once again.

hi ppl.

well....lets juz skipped to yesterday cause i cant really remember what happened before that * well at least not all* -.-

...went to bert's gig at SCAPE park...after that went to ton at his hse....

..brought ma pear vodka *lyke damn2 little la* . steven drank a mouth, & said his drunk -_-
lol...after which bert say that drunks don admit being drunk * got a point dere dude*

...played Bomber Man ALL nite, til 3 plus in which we decided to watch a movie called Wrong Turn. Think it must be rated as R81. its soooooooooo gory. OMG. YUCKS.

....after which movie end liao....den we sat on the sofa...trying to create a story of our own....characters include : Mr. Chua, Mr. James Tan, Mr.Chng*aka AH GUA*, Ms. Chia * OPPS*, Mdm Sim, Mr. tay, Mr. Chan, Mrs. Seetoh *though she left the sch loooong ago* -.-''', Ms. Wang Ying, Mr. Wong, Mr. Ali....etc. think still hav somemore, *but i fall asleep half-way through the story* -_-

...LOL. but overall, realli njoyed it la. Really thank God 4 letting me know these butch of idiots :P They lighted up ma life, and have always been dere 4 me whenever i need dem
^-^ Can really talk about ANYTHING & EVERYTHING under the sun, in the universe with them.

OKIE. gotta go sleep liao. DAMN TIRED. OMG. Oya, saw ah long otw home at the Great World bustop. Said ma eyes lokoked lyke owl. WTFFFFFFFFFFF =_=. i don take it as a compliment, cause it is not a compliment *duh*.

OKAY. really gtg slp liao. bye & nite ppl. Chao.

was once, but never will be, again.

..its so fuck-up.

i had enough. told u all tat it will not be the last tyme.
see, now u finally get me.

fucking sick of it.

im, wat do u call it? i hav no idea. sumbody give me an answer pls.

..talked to ma love @ clarke quay that night. im not gonna be turning into that bit*h. but, i cant turn back now. dere's no way out. he though he knew me, tat im wat he thinks i am.
HELL NO, boy.

im sorry to those that i've let u down. i can never be the person that u hope, & i wished to be.

Watever happens to that innocence?

is it realli so fucking hard to find sumbody that likes you 4 who you are, and not what you are?

..am always caught in this state of mind. i can never change anything.

Living a Lie. or, a Living Lie?

...shine on.

HEAVEN HELP US

hi people..

don realli feel lyke talkin abt my day...but more of my life *currently*

...WUHOO. guess i've no choice but to listen to ma love *ZR*. juz let it be, and dont ever place any hope on anyone :)

..called me a S**T. well. LET IT BE THEN. i don giv a shit to what you *all* tink of me. all i can say is, im doing this as a revenge. Although he may not even giv a shit, or even knows about tis. but still. HAH. its funny in a way. i tot dey always say that bad rumors spread fast, and well, i guess tis is a real bad one? HAHA. hope he will come to know about tis soon. SOON. time is running out, man. yeah i know, it reflects fucking bad on me, but, lyke wat i said, I DON GIV A SHIT.

THREE CHEERS 4 SWEET REVENGE PEOPLE. ^^

..Shut The Fuck Up

.. tmr's one FUCKING BIG killer. ITAB. didnt bother studying anywae.

Dere it goes again. im back 2 square 1. it hit me right back onto my seat. when will i really pick myself up again. ASSHOLES.

..why r u so far away. do u mean everything tat u said? y didnt u get it. yeah sense of humor. hope u cn pick that up.

TOP-OF-THE-WISH-LIST:
Find myself a corner, wif either my love *ZR* or *u-know-hu*. to smoke and chat the days & nights away. yeah. tats it. its TAT simple. but it'll be a plus if dere's a lil' chivas/vodka . YEAH. TATS LIFE.
when wil tis day come. damnit

ok.kinda boring reading ma blog. CHAO PEOPLE

..never was. and never will be

YO PEOPLE~

haven come here in quite some time...
kk shall 'recall' wat happened in the past few days :

went wif ZR *aka ma love*, ben....to MOS on the 17th..crowded bt fun ^-^

....*SHOOOM* fast-forward to ytd *cuz i cant recall wat happened since tat day* -.-

..went 2 support bert's performance @ scape park...he got in ^^ . Zhao aft announcing the results 2 meet abram 4 movie *the HULK*. nt bad la. free movie + free meal :) bt realli enjoy gg out wif dem la ^^

..had ma POA paper. HAHA. WAT A joke man. did 10% of the it nia. argh. don realli wanna talk abt it man.

juz finished studying my economics. PHEW. half-awake rite nw. pardon me 4 any grammer mistakes cuz im kinda brain-dead now =_=

OKAY. gonna stop here. gg brush teeth/toilet/sleeeeeep.

CHAO PEOPLE =D

lost..BUT found :)

hi ppl...

juz went 2 meet up wif ma love....ZR *tadang...!*

..gav me a 'motivational talk'...WUHOO. im kinda enlightened now ^-^

..aft tat went hm...studied my ITAB *IT Applications in Business*...n here i m, blogging -.-

...love bought me two shirts back from korean....in which both of dem are my favourite....HOODIES =P

*YAWNS* so so tired...wrking @ far east tmr...shit mann.

*YAWNS*~

..talked about sooooo many things with her. brought up ONE important point:though its hard 2 pick urself up again, U HAV 2 DO IT. YES.

kk. gonna slp now. CHAO PEOPLE ^^

..eh?

YO ppl...

ZR's BACK...! WUHOOOO!!! *kla, mayb im over-joyed* bt stil.....YEAH...!

kk, my day:

stayed hm n STUDY ma economics...
OYA, woke up late 4 my CIP visit to the orphanage *initially said to meet 8.30am @ dover MRT*...woke up at 3pm -.-''''''

aft studying......went tiong 4 dinner wif ben...den to tiong park *as usual*...kanna screened.....

k, tat's about my day. wat a great life huh.

CHAO PEOPLE
^-^

Everybody's Fool

hav u ever tried yearning 4 sumbody so bad? tat u cn lose urself totally.

i hav. n stil am. wher hav WEN gone to? its lyke a movie, replaying itself over n over again.

u most probably wont understand a shit im saying, but i don giv a damn either.

Just talked to the fucking counsellor ytd night IN MY LIVING ROOM. tat FUCKING FAT GUY. WAT THE FUCK HE KNOWS ABT ME OR MY LIFE? nobody elses do, let alone him. he talk as if he KNOWS EVERYTHING. YA. FUCK OFF. U CANT SOLVE ANY OF MY PROBS. OK?

do anythin 2 make me feel alive. juz wanna know i hav been to the extremes.

u must be thinking, lets c how long she can last. let me tel ya fuckers, I AM STIL ALIVE. N WIL STIL BE. LOVE ME OR HATE ME, IM HERE TO STAY.


CHAO, MOTHER FUCKERS.

..less is more.i guess.

Hi dere...here again...

went 2 watch KungFu panda *i tink tats the title* wif fren. aft tat went bert's gig the lineup @ plaza singapura .sadly he didnt get in -.-. BUT, NO BIG DEAL THOUGH =)

aft tat went 2 hav dinner ....den here i m, hm.

wel, was wondering, is it true that you cant have the best of both world? perhaps im 'enlightened'' now. having nothing may be the thing 4 me, if u know wat i mean. ^-^ nvr knew things could turn into hatred so fast. im suprised myself. hate me all u want. i don giv a shit :)

AND, im missing ZR lyke shit now....! hw i wish she's right here. so that we can talk abt anything & everthing under the sun. OMG. when's she coming back seh~

k gg slp. Chao ppl. Tc ya.

^-^

..haha. CHEERS 4 sweet revenge. pathetic fucker. idiotic excuses. =)


hav a nice day people =)

...to think tat he'll fall 4 it. haha =)

..hi dere..here again..went town wif ben, kel, keith, dan...watched the Street Festival...
the lead singer of the band was chio man =P

aft tat went purple light..brought along ma bottle of vodka =) had a bet wif my clique. c whether some dumbfuck fall 4 it anot. HAHA. he picked up. n pretend tat dere's no reception. idiot ^-^ got ten bucks for it ^^ THNKS 4 PICKING UP. =D

..uploaded a few photos in ma frenster..

k. tat's my day =)

chao people..!! take care ya

'Too much to ask' by avril lavigne

It's the first time I ever felt this lonely. I wish someone could cure this pain .
It's funny when you think its gonna work out , Til you chose weed over me, you're so lame. I thought you were cool until the point, up until the point you didnt call me when you said you would. I finally figured out you're all the same. Always coming up with some kind of story.

Everytime I try to make you smile, You're always feeling sorry for yourself. Everytime I try to make you laugh, You can't you're too tough, you think you're the best. Is it too much that I'm asking for?

I thought you'd come around when I ignored you ,So I thought you'd have the decency to change. But babe, I guess you didn't take that warning', Cause I'm not about to look at your face again.

Can't you see that you lie to yourself? You can't see the world through a mirror. It wont be too late when the smoke clears', Cause I, I am still here.
But everytime I try to make you smile, You'd always grow up feeling sorry for yourself. Everytime I try to make you laugh. You stand like a stone, alone in your zone . Is it too much that I'm asking for?

Can't find where i am, Lying here, Alone I fear, Afraid of the dark. No one to claim alone again.
Can't you see that you lie to yourself ? You can't see the world through a mirror. It wont be too late when the smoke clears', Cause I, I am still here Everytime I try to make you smile, You're always feeling sorry for yourself . Everytime I try to make you laugh, You can't, You're too tough, You think you're the best.
It was too much that I'm asking for

..wher's her toothpaste =P

...My god..

though its last night, m posting todae =D ZR called me @ 10pm plus....SHE WAS OREADY AT THE AIRPORT...!!!

haha. tat girl. realli luv her sia. Asked me to guess what was confisticated from her as she was crossing the so-called gates. had my bet on something associated with metal. WRONG.
...............its her TOOTHPASTE. =_=. WTH. told her tat's y those people hu comes outta the plane dont open their mouths -.-
its ridiculous la. wat fucking rule is tat man.

going to miss her so bloody lots. FUCK. *though she will be outta sgp for 2 wks*. BUT STIL. its okie =) gg 2 party on the night after she's back =) wuhoo~ m so so lookin 4ward 2 it man.

k gonna stop here. bye people...
Oo.btw, mark my words : karma, baby.

..now i get the answer.

.. well u've crossed the line =) see ur true colours at last. thnks so much. im not sad, trust me. its more of a disappointment. all the fucking promises, fuck dem all. they're complete bullshit, let me tel u tat.

Haha. wat a joke. remembering the time when u said im urs, cant believe i fucking convinced myself tat its true. lol. funny. i dont know the reason y ur acting tis way. but i guess now im nt interested to know either. hw abt creatin all those stupid drawings tt we put on our msn DP? wher hav dese bloody days gone to. wat a joke

..am wondering wher those cryings to my frens leaded to. u nvr know. cause u nvr cared. whenever my phone gets a message, u'll nvr imagine hw much i hope its from u. but sadly, no. its not ur name on the screen. n wat the fuck cn i do? i cn onli shut the fuck up, close the drawer, n get my ass to work. is it too much to ask for? i juz want to know tat ur alright. tats all. fk it. haha.

yeah sure, ur bz. with ur fucking frenster. the comments and shit. i cn see tat. everyone else cn see tat. hah. shud hav taken ZR's advice. y didnt i . moron me. wanted to tell u so much, so much more. yet, well, guess its the end. perhaps im not even close to your expectations of a gal. i dont know. tot tat we culd spent the holiday together. but, well. =)
Like wat people say, wat goes around , comes around =)

Hav a nice day, to whoever tt knows hu im saying all these craps to. Opps. sry. i 4got . CUT THE CRAP.

chao people ^-^

..i see.

..seems lyke wat ZR said turns out 2 be true. so true.

but it made me see ur true colours. thnks . nvr knew u were sumbody TAT fucked-up.

yeah ur so busy. busy adding gals in frenster.

god bless then. hav a nice day

chao people.

the grunge wil b here. 4ever

y cant he juz die ? fuckin get outta my life. shud fuckin do him in for 2 yrs tat night. y didnt i do it. wen cui, you r a moron, fucking fool.

see. history stil repeats itself. why. why cant u even understand such a simple logic. u hav problem, face up to it, defeat it, fucking move on. what the fuck is so difficult abt tat. its lyke a nvr ending nightmare tat nobody wuld understand. comes back 2 haunt me every now & then.

god. if u cn hear or see me, pls take me away fr these shits. i had enuf. im so tired of being a player in your small little game called life. pls.
juz let me go.

.. *no-comment*

HI dere... (k gonna find a new opening line.) anywae was late 4 klass todae...overslept *as usual =P

SIAN SEH. looong dae tmr again. LUCKILY bestie's crashing ma lecture ^-^ OMG. am so so looking 4ward to it lor. WUHOOO....!

hmmm. k. i shall talk abt the food i had todae. went 2 study wif ben @ tiong aft sch. STUDY. as in realli study k =_= . the beef patty in the burger was like half-uncooked la. my god. I DIDNT ASK 4 ANY SPECIAL ORDERS K. yikes. bloody beef lo. *luckily i up-sized my onion rings*

....k la. guess ur nt interested in all dese. BUT, HEY. TIS MA BLOG K =D jk.

donno wher tat fucking BF is sial. say wat he knocked off oready. waitin 4 him 2 go online. STIL NT YET. cb seh. FARIS = stupid/moron/idiotic ASS ^-^ but stil, wonder y i KINDA mis ya. STUPID ASSHOLE.

fk la. he' having his common test nxt wk. GREAT. MORE FREEDOM 4 ME Y(^-^).

....Kla, kiddin onli. asshole. know u'll b reading tis k =) *mis ya fucking lots*

(sch) a little comment : i hope things realli ARE getting betta 4 me, if u know wat i mean. HOPE =)

am listening to Paramore's Crushcrushcrush, The killers' When you were young. wow. remind me of so many things, man. Oya, went the Bert's gig ytd @ The Scape Park. That bastard's hot la. FUCK LOR. Haha. he'd betta nt b reading tis lor. THAT BUEH BAR IDIOT. tmr night he's got another event...same time same place. wil be going wif ma bestie......... Y(^-^)Y.

Okie gonna stop here. hav got FUCKING SKOOOOOL......... IIIII <----*pointing-middle-finger* CHAO PEOPLE. nites.

..*bloated/fucked-up/sore throat

..hi dere. here again.

Oya. deleted the entry made tis morning. tink tat its of no use; wil onli worsen the fucked-up situation anywae.

OK. hmm. todae: went sch, back home. am solo 4 my GAM PUA FANN ITAB project. THNKS SO MUCH YA.

stupid mixed-fruitard-with-sugar-at-the-side. cb. all of a sudden sooo hardworking. NOTE 4 U *if ur reading* : U BETTA BE REALLI STUDYING. IF UR CAUGHT DOIN SMTH ELSE........haha. u see wat i'll do ^-^

bloody fucker....dere's party nxt mth @ zouk. most prob gg. donno whether shud i keep it fr him?
HAHA. GOT U. know ur reading THIS . kla. wil ask u along. baby.

..im NOT nuts OKIE. though i do talk 2 myself sometimes =D

Plans 4 tmr: meetin babe aft his sch 4 lunch, join in the audience under ma block 4 bball, meet ZHEN REN a.k.a MY LOVES 4 dinner...go hm...revise....go online...slp.....OK. SET.

aiya sian. gg slp liao. menses damn pain. so sad huh. k CHAO everybody. tc

..To buy the truth & sell a lie.

..*YAWN*.. pardon me. im realli veri tired. shit man. stil need 2 present 4 the shitty FOM project. my god. feel lyke pon-ing tmr's ITAB. another 3 hours' routine of listening 2 chantings of a uncle hu's undergoing puberty. AIYA. nxt wk's holidae LIAO. but stil, test's right aft tat, so ...nt realli lookin 4ward to it.

OKIE. solution 4 the penise-eating crocodile question:
the 9 + 5 men wil anal each other....forming a circle ^-^

ok shut up fuckers, know its cb-tic lame.. but stil.


..nothing much abt todae...go sch, stay back discuss project...go tiong park..n now, home. trust me..my eyes r closing while im typing tis. *SNORE*

fucking BF..donno wher's he sial. msn status' bz / msg him no reply. but at least he puts his studies b4 me =D tat's a plus. retarded mixed-fruitard-with-sugar-at-the-side. wil try baking it one day. ONE DAY OK.

HAHAHAHAHA. juz felt lyke laughing.

k down 2 personal topic: ..........
had my menses todae, HAHA. guess im the onli idiot hu put tis in a blog. but WATEVER. damn pain sia. MY GOD. borrowed a pad fr agatha...a swt gal in ma klass =) THNKS AGATHA !

kk. gonna go: brush ma teeth / eat menses pills / apply moisturiser / put my tongue stud on...oya. i hav a tongue piercing =P stud's on onli at nite. *hard to talk wif it *. OKIE PEOPLE. CHAO. BB. NITE. MUACK. EEEwwwww. haha.

....phew

...hi dere. hmmm. don realli feel lyke myself. but watever shit. gonna juz record down wat happened k.
went 2 meet ZHEN REN *my love* aft sch @ great world...mis her so much tat no shit cn describe. aft tat when 2 watch hk, le wen, kel, keith with their bball & skateboard under my block. went hm 2 wait 4 hk & gang 2 change n bath *gu niangs*. went town n purple light aft tat...n nw im hm.

OKIE.SOMETHING'S NT RIGHT. IM RUNNING OUTTA THINGS 2 SAY. SHIT*.

watever.

OYA!!!! the solution 4 the question in my last post :
...................dey ANAL each other . the 1st man shall use the bottle. SOLVED ^-^
*did i mention tat im kinda sick*

k, nw's the part 2 of the question: Dey finally finish crossing the river. HOWEVER, dere's another river filled once again wif penis-eating crocodiles. this time, dere's 5 more guys waiting, pondering by the river, thinking wat 2 do. the 9 men hav no bottle left nw. WAT SHUD DEY DO IN ORDER 2 CROSS THE RIVER AGAIN? *ans wil b given in my nxt post* =D

kk gonna stop here & fucking go slp. stil hav work tmr. CCB.CHAO PEOPLE.

..damn slpy

.. wow. wif e blink of an eye, the weekend's here. wonder hw many of dese weekends i hav 2 endure/go through/tahan b4 i cn finally u-know. met my baby aft sch todae 4 dinner..missed him lyke shit. *im sry, bt tat's hw i describe*. tis wil b the last tyme i meet up wif him 4 tis wk . fuck. working on the weekend full day.

..donno WTF his PM means lor : EMOTIONAL-LOGIC=FAITH. mayb im juz brain-dead 4 the moment. mayb i've been , always. lazy 2 ask him la.

oya, btw, those of u hu's reading tis, a little question 4 u : 9 mens were hiking. somehow, dey lost their clothes & were all naked. aft a long day of walking, dey came across a river, filled wif PENISES-EATING CROCODILES. dey don eat humans, but juz their , erm, penises, obviously. dey onli hav a bottle, in which it could onli be stuff wif ONE PENIS AT A TIME. the river is like a thousand metres wide, so throwing anything from one end 2 another is impossible. NOW, HW R DEY GOING 2 CROSS THE RIVER WITHOUT THEIR PENISES BEING BITTEN OFF ?


(hint): no hint =)
..ans wil b given in my nxt post..keep a look-out til den..chao! *fucking slpy*

..my words r cold. i don wan dem 2 hurt u

hi dere..although i donno hu the fuck im sayin it to , anywaes, am back 4 nother entry =) wel if u were to crack open my head & check my brain nw, u'll notice a lotsa 'question marks' in dere. erm. cn sum1 tel me WTF had juz happened. i hav no fuckin idea. i swear to god. k. whoever's readin tis : lets juz hope tat tings r gettin betta 4 me okie. i don realli dare 2 place my bet on it. through so many things tat had happened, i finally fking learnt a harsh bt true lesson : when u expect too much 4 something, when it doesnt goes ur way, trust me, agony wil come knockin at your door. i knew this ALL TOO WELL. fucking sad 4 me huh.

..used to, n stil am,believes tat a blog functions juz lyke a mirror . it reflects watever shit im tinkin/feeling/feel like saying. . hence, dere shudnt b any right or wrong in here. so im 'so-called' , erm, NAKED here. u know, watever ur reading nw is truely wat i feel. thus, im sry if i offended anyone via my posts. was, am, & wil stil b direct in my posts =D--> fking stubborn

alright..BACK TO MY DAY : went 2 watch 'over her dead body'..kinda nice if ur one hu lykes stupid comedy ^-^ aft tat went tiong *again* 4 dinner ; had fishball noodles...no. of fishballs given were GENERIOUS ( gave two fishballs 2 ben)...went tiong park aft tat *AGAIN*. blablabla... the routine repeats itself.
....listening to ' i wont see you tonite part 1' by avenged sevenfold. Fucking addicted to it nw.

k gonna end here..finding food *as usual*.. . k bye, chao every1 ^-^

..if i juz let go of everything..wil u giv a shit ?

.. sum1 juz told me tat a blog shud b written @ e end of the day..but rmb smth : i m weird ^-^ wil juz post one when ever i feel lyke it k. so lyke any other days..its been so shitty . ponned 3 hrs of FOM klass. shiok seh . k i confess * again * : skipped it cuz i fking hate e klass. as in all the ppl. my god. nvr ever tot tat life in poly wil b TIS FUCK-UP. met up wif ben, kel, hk n went town. aft tat was on my way 2 meet up wif tat sum1.

.. im so sry, bt im a naggy person. nwadays i kept revolving ard the same topic : GETTING A TIME MACHINE. am officially a living-dead. slowly, m giving up every single thing. believes tat, when u've lost things to a certain point of time, u become immune 2 it. so wats a few more ? makes no difference at all. My sec sch's cher so rite : LIFE IS FUCKING UNFAIR. no one can find a speck of light in any aspects of my life rite nw. no one.

luv dese lyrics fr the Graduation song : memories played like films without sound. always laughin 2 ourselves, thinkin tat life's not fair. when we look back, will our jokes still be funny ? as our lifes change, come watever, we'll stil be friends forever.


Zhen Ren let me fell in luv wif tis 1 particular song : if a hero nvr comes 2 u. if u need sum1 ur feeling blue. if u wait 4 luv & ur alone. if u call ur frens, nobody's hm....if the sky is grey, oh let me know. dere's a place in heaven tat we'll go. if heaven is a million yrs away, oh juz cal me & i'll make ur day.

OKIE GUYS. shall end here. hav got CB-tic FOM project tmr in my CB-tic retarded sch. chao & tc.

FUCKING ITAB LEESON

..*YAWN* soooo fucking tired. am havin CB-tic ITAB lesson <> now. WTF man. am certain tat im nt such a morning-person after all. wat i realise now : dere's a retarded uncle talkin non-stop infront of me. >> blablablabla. as if im typing in watever crap he's talkin abt excel. HAHA. SO SRY HOR. im blogging ^-^ shit man. gonna b 3 hrs of torture. wait. i must state : IM NT USING SELECTIVE-HEARING 4 E LESSON . I M NT EVEN LISTENING.
..tink gonna hav chicken rice *again* lata. cant tink of anythin else. *YAWN* im realli dead tired. surprised im onli 5 mins late 4 the fucking klass. shud hav juz fuckin pon it.
HAHA the lecturer aka uncle juz asked me whether i understand anot . tis hw i react --> =_= *faked smile*. retarded cher. tink he stil goin' thru puberty lo. voice break EVERYTYME 'break'. ( ZHAO SIAH). sigh seems lyke wat ben hope wil nvr come true >> i nvr woke up havin a dream abt poly. I M IN ONE.
oya, i confess : i nvr wear socks todae =D *yucks* . i know its somewher in my closet. SOMEWHER. shud hav juz wore my QSS socks man~ wif its PURPLE logo on the sides. WUHOO..! k gonna end here..if nt im gg 2 run outta tings 2 say <>. CHAO every1. tc. * YAWN*

..back fr tiong park

wel. *2nd post* >> though im nt gg 2 keep on e count =) anywae juz reached hm fr meetin hk & ben. went 2 slack @ tiong park. *yawn. fkin sch tmr. absolutely no motivation 2 sch ^^ agree on gg kbox somewher tis wk ..bt seriously tinkin i go dere 4 fk lo. don know a shit abt chinese songs . K. I SHALL STICK TO MY LINKIN PARK HITS DEN ^-^ am into reggae nwadays < sigh. am findin a christian name..had my eye on EVELYN. does it realli suit me? i donno. wil carry on my search til i found e right one. k i sound as if im findin a bf. walaoeh. pardon me 4 repeating, but I'VE GOT CB-TIC SCH TMR. omg. talkin abt bf. ccb. nvmind. aiya. but am glad im stil in contact wif my fucking clique Y(^-^)Y. took a few pic @ tiong park juz nw. (posted at my frenster) haha stupid lo. k shall end here. lyke wat i said : keep a lookout 4 my upcomin posts k. chao & tc =D

My veri 1st post

hi dere (to anyone readin tis) ^^. tis my very 1st post 4 tis acc. k. slept til 12 plus todae..had lunch b4 gg work. fk man. my life's so shitty nowadays. fuckin mis my clique in sec 4. OMG i realli mis dem soooooooo much. seriously i hav no idea y i'd chosen accountancy. CCB. sry if u hate vulgarities cuz im gonna use lotsa dem in tis n my other upcomin posts =) fk the current poly im in. realli hate all e shit in dere. gosh, i'll do anythin in order 2 xchange 4 a time machine. wanna go back & fkin stay in sec 4 wif all my buddies. n lyke wat ben said, hw he wished tat one day we wuld all wake up n go back 2 sec sch, juz havin a weird dream of being in poly. WISHED. oh man. feelin hungry nw . used 2 look 4ward 2 poly kinda life, u know, freedom in chosin my outfits...meetin new ppl...shit lyke dese. i wil compromise all dese in xchange 4 a time machine. I REALLI DON FKIN MIND. wel, its nt as if e ppl i met in poly r fkers or wat. juz tat, i don realli click wif dem..if u get wat i mean. im nt 1 tat wil BLENDS in wif dem in order 2 'click'. no. tat's so nt me. i rather b myself. wel lets juz hope tat tis wuld b a passing phrase 4 me den. if nt i hav no idea hw im gg 2 survive 3 yrs in dere.
..was chattin wif gordon online when i drew him a crab claw. Bastard sia he, wan make me jealous onli. told me he went 2 hav crab durin dinner. HMMPH. WATEVER LORR. ^^. k shall end here den. watch out 4 my up-comin posts ya. chao.